fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
