Who wears a wallet chain?!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
