Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
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You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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