Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
