you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
being pregnant is like rehab
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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