why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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