we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
