she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I had to cum in my sink.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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