you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
