We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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