I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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