What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
