wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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