Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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