i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
