so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
