Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
