I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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