Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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