hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
only if we run a train.
done.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
