normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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