hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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