new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
