Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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