Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
