Kiss
Puke
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
