I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
