You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
3 2 1 whiskey
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
