It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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