After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
