too bad you live with your parents still
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
