Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
