You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.