Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I wish I could punch you in the face.

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  (313): I wish I could punch you in the face. http://tfl.nu/jewc
  Replies (4) Good night (1389) Bad night (614)
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  (818): View more from California

  people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.

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  (818): people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight. http://tfl.nu/8h1f
  Replies (7) Good night (3022) Bad night (550)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.

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  (508): Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it. http://tfl.nu/eqxg
  Replies (34) Good night (952) Bad night (2995)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"

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  (201): my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that" http://tfl.nu/nqkj
  Replies (14) Good night (867) Bad night (4836)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.

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  (303): I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles. http://tfl.nu/osg1
  Replies (69) Good night (9570) Bad night (3051)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

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  (610): The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary. http://tfl.nu/0qxf
  Replies (19) Good night (2869) Bad night (5819)
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  (858): View more from California

  Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.

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  (858): Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today. http://tfl.nu/g96b
  Replies (10) Good night (3446) Bad night (1394)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?

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  (248): Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door? http://tfl.nu/ayiv
  Replies (4) Good night (954) Bad night (1636)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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  (701): All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats. http://tfl.nu/27ky
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (1099)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok

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  (786): If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok http://tfl.nu/pfjn
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (2072)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.

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  (417): I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer. http://tfl.nu/udvx
  Replies (3) Good night (1058) Bad night (393)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth

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  (956): One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth http://tfl.nu/vmxy
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (661)
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  (925): View more from California

  If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.

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  (925): If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living. http://tfl.nu/hoy7
  Replies (7) Good night (927) Bad night (614)
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  (626): View more from California

  Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

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  (626): Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy http://tfl.nu/8u1j
  Replies (2) Good night (621) Bad night (1604)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...

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  (641): As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long... http://tfl.nu/8iqc
  Replies (4) Good night (394) Bad night (1341)

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