I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.