you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.