Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak

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  (952): I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak http://tfl.nu/wxhv
  Replies (29) Good night (929) Bad night (1014)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.

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  (303): Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom. http://tfl.nu/w3y3
  Replies (2) Good night (1322) Bad night (567)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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  (972): Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition. http://tfl.nu/d2b2
  Replies (20) Good night (2528) Bad night (764)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.

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  (519): oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo. (1-519): like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family. http://tfl.nu/xf88
  Replies (17) Good night (6479) Bad night (871)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?

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  (731): We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country? http://tfl.nu/p4z6
  Replies (37) Good night (4711) Bad night (1237)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.

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  (623): Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy. http://tfl.nu/cg4z
  Replies (60) Good night (2337) Bad night (5162)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol

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  (920): it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol http://tfl.nu/j58z
  Replies (4) Good night (2965) Bad night (848)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?

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  (778): Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight? http://tfl.nu/8s8e
  Replies (7) Good night (4248) Bad night (929)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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  (812): well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me. http://tfl.nu/v83s
  Replies (2) Good night (1246) Bad night (639)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.

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  (206): We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face. http://tfl.nu/gmb1
  Replies (5) Good night (1073) Bad night (974)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.

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  (203): He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude. http://tfl.nu/xcp6
  Replies (3) Good night (791) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.

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  (914): It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ulw
  Replies (7) Good night (547) Bad night (2077)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants

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  (615): those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants http://tfl.nu/jm8o
  Replies (13) Good night (670) Bad night (1127)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"

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  (248): Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son" http://tfl.nu/st3e
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (270)
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  (953): View more from

  Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.

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  (953): Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man. http://tfl.nu/f9iu
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (74)

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