Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session

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(915): View more from Texas

My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

No more Irish car bombs ever.

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(630): View more from Illinois

It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....

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(954): View more from Florida

I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now

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(406): View more from Montana

I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.

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(928): View more from Arizona

At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.

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