Dude i fell asleep inside of her
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
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The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably