It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Randomize
