Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
