i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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