Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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