And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
