Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
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about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
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Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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