I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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