Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
