you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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