I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
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When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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