? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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