She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
