im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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