I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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