I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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