Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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