somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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