so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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