I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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