I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
