I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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