your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
