Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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