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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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