dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
