That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
