there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
