sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
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You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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