is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
